I'm such a fake even I can't stand myself. But what to do? You've got to maintain some diplomatic relationship here and there, everywhere. I can't afford to offend anyone. Who knows? They may turn their backs against me and do some things I really will hate to see. I can't help it but be crude for once. Fuck. The divergence between us is filled with awkwardness. I can't explain how weird that feeling is but I know you're thinking something and so do I. We're both having something up our sleeves. We just left it unsaid. The way you looked at me, I know it, I just feigned ignorance. There's no need for me to get so acted up because of you. I'm not so stupid either although I may laugh, joke and act like an idiot most of the time. So don't underestimate me because underestimating is the last thing I will want to do when facing people like you.

I'm feeling so fucked up now and I don't know how to alleviate this stuffy feeling within my chest.