Today went home with Meiyan after the disastrous Geography paper. Glad that I went home with her because despite not contacting each other for maybe an entire month, we still had topics to talk throughout the shopping at NTUC, on the bus, while buying bubble tea. She may be sharp tongued, she may not sound pleasant, she may be blunt with her words, but one thing I'm sure of - she's the one who stood by me and the one who always supported me. Hehe, so cheesy. But yeah, I know that clearly. I know who was with me and who wasn't. The only consolation for getting into Meridian is Eloise and Meiyan are in the same school as me. I'm truly grateful for that. They made my life in Meridian so much more pleasant.

My life wasn't that bad in JC. Nothing to be extremely upset about. I'm still lingering around my secondary school days and I still miss those days terribly. But I'm not upset. Everyone has moved on, and I should too. I'm just getting into another phase of my life. If I ever said that I felt empty, that is just because I miss those good old days. I'm still creating a new memory of my JC years. When I move on to university (hopefully I can get in), then I'll start looking back at my JC years and reminisce too right?

Today was talking with Meiyan on the bus. Sometimes it's inevitable that people cast judgments at us. But someone tell me, how far do I need to go so as to prove my own innocence? I'd love to say "whatever~" to what people think of me but in reality I cannot. I cannot ignore what people think of me and to be honest, I'm extremely sensitive to that. I'm a Libran. It's in me. Lol.

I've so many things I want to blog down because probably after so many weeks of having no feelings, and nothing interesting to write. While I was walking home, with no music (surprisingly), I had a whole lot of things to pen down but I don't think I'm hardworking enough to type everything out. It'll sum up to a WHOLE big chunk of words that will not appeal to anyone including myself.

To that someone: I really screwed up my Geography. Believe it or not, I really didn't put in enough effort as I should. I'm not trying to prove anything. I'm not trying to make myself look 'cool'. In fact, I never felt that not studying for a paper is cool in the first place. At this point of time, not preparing yourself before sitting for a paper is equivalent to digging your own grave, and is worse than being pure dumb. I'm not proud of myself not having the capability to sit down and read through my notes attentively. Neither do I find it rewarding to be medically certified having attention deficiency. I do not enjoy myself having difficulty in putting my mind to something and treat it seriously for once in my whole life. I certainly hate to have to put in so much effort, much more than normal people takes to just concentrate. Please, understand me, know me truly, put yourself in my shoes, before you lay your judgment on me. I'm not blaming you for having those thoughts about me. It's not the first time anyway. But don't make me feel it is pointless to even defend for myself. I don't want to be feel that despair towards everything, or even anything.

P.S. This blog is for me to vent my frustrations. Not only so, it's a place where I think I can write what I really feel for everyone to see. It's a medium for me to justify myself too :)

P.P.S. Glad that Geography is over.

P.P.P.S. Literature on Thursday ._.